The Tao of Success, Part 2; Stop Saying ‘I Want’

It’s one of the first phrases we ever learn to say. We start saying it almost as soon as we are able to speak anything resembling a language; I want. I want my toy, I want a bottle, I want a nap, I want you to change my diaper. We even learn to cry and whine to get what we ‘want’ when the message doesn’t seem to be getting through. As life goes on that never seems to go away. The very phrase “I want” seems to have its own whine embedded deep behind it. Try standing in front of a mirror and saying things like, “I want a new car” or “I want a bigger house” and “I want to be a rich, famous author”. Sounds a little like whining, doesn’t it? Funny thing is it doesn’t get you one step closer to your desire, what you want. It doesn’t even feel good to stand there in front of yourself and say those things because you are telling yourself what you don’t have. Imagine how it sounds to anyone else.

Now stand in front of the mirror and say, “I am a damn good writer and people would like to read what I have written.” See how much better that feels inside? Nothing about that statement is a position of lack or want. It is an affirmation of what you are and what you will do/are doing right now. Say things like, “right at this moment I have everything that I need,” because you do. If you truly needed it, it would be right there. “I have a good car; it’s reliable and gets me wherever I choose to go.” “I have a good house. It keeps me warm in winter, it keeps me dry when it rains, it holds all my loved ones.”

“I want” comes from a position of lack, as in, I want this because I don’t have it. An acknowledgement of lack gets you nowhere in life and does nothing to get rid of lack. It is an affirmation of nothing else besides your perceived need for whatever you want. One of my favorite quotes about this, and I am paraphrasing here, says, “if you think you need something, you must not because it’s not here.”

Is it okay to want, to desire? Personally I believe it is what helps us to set a goal in mind. The question is; to do what then? Do we simply walk around saying “I want” and letting everyone around us know that we have this need, this desire? Or would it be better to set an immediate affirmation that we are setting in motion whatever it takes, whatever it requires to realize that desire? The want, the desire should be a fleeting thought to simply establish what you are going to do about it.

It does no good whatever to sit around and constantly repeat to myself, “I want to be a rich, famous author” or “I want people to buy my books and like me and what I write”. Doing that, I will never be either one of those. That is where my energy and effort is going. What will get me there is to do. What will get me there is to be. What will get me there is the affirmation that I am a writer and that people will be interested in what I have written as long as I am writing it the best I can and it is being presented in a manner that people will want to read. The rest of it flows into place.

Ask yourself why you want what you want. What hole will it fill in your life? What is there right now that you want, that you truly think you need, and yet you are somehow getting along without at this very moment of need? How will it change your life if you get what you want? Will you then want something else?

Replace ‘I want’ with ‘I am’! I am a good writer. I am on the path to success because I write, I do, I accomplish. I do not ‘want’ to be a writer. Someone paid me to write something many years ago, and I have been paid many times since then to write things. People are buying my books as I write this and I am giving books away; therefore I am a writer. You are whatever you are doing at the moment. If you are working at being a writer, a car mechanic, a dressmaker or a nurse then that is what you are. You are not wanting to be any of those, you are that the moment you take the first step toward your destination and keep walking “confidently in the direction of your dreams.”

I would like to invite you, in conclusion, to partake of something I have never offered before. For a limited time I am offering to all who would like it, (notice I did not say want or need,) an absolutely free copy of my collection of short stories titled A Multi-Pack of Brain Flakes. It is available for immediate download at Smashwords until March 10 via their “Read An Ebook Week” yearly promotion. Just use the coupon code in the upper right corner of that page. In addition, anyone who becomes a subscriber to the Ethan Holmes Blog and/or Podcast is eligible for a free copy of A Multi-Pack of Brain Flakes. Just go to this page to see how easy it is to get your free copy.  Very soon I will also have it available on my website, www.ethanholmes.com in conjunction with the release of my books, Earth’s Blood and The Keystone in audio and paperback. Thank you kindly for your time. EH

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About Ethan Holmes

Ethan Holmes currently resides in Northern Arizona and he is the author of seven published books; Earth's Blood, The Keystone, A Multi-Pack of Brain Flakes, Shorts and Other Laundry, Live Your Life In A Crap Free Zone, Water. and his new novella, The Town of Perfect. When he is not writing Ethan is also a professional freelance nature photographer.
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