Ethan Holmes wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving! So ya bought a thirty pound bird at the store because “it was such a deal, only eighty nine cents a pound!” Unfortunately only five people showed up for Thanksgiving dinner and three of them had already eaten somewhere else. Even the homeless guy at Walmart doesn’t want any more. Now you have gobs of leftover Thanksgiving turkey. What to do…what to do.
Fortunately, Ethan Holmes is here to save the day, or the week.
Top Ten Things To Do With Leftover Thanksgiving Turkey
10- Drop it in the blender and make a smoothie.
9- Pack it for lunch for the next 32 days until you start growing feathers.
8- Make a casserole that won’t turn out like your mother’s and give it to the neighbors.
7- Grind it up and use it to plug all the little holes in the wall where the kids keep missing the dartboard.
6- Sprinkle generously with fresh ground pepper and spread around the house perimeter to deter unwanted varmints.
5- Put it in a zip bag, freeze it, forget it’s there and then pull it out eight months from now and play a family game called “What the hell is this?”.
4- Send it home with your in-laws with a little card that says “Season’s Greetings and Happy Food Poisoning”.
3- Set pieces of it outside to sun-dry and then use it to patch the kids’ shoes.
2- Use it to start a food fight.
And lastly, the number one thing you can do with leftover turkey….
Serve it again at Christmas!!! Just flick off all the fuzzy purple spots and re-heat.
Ethan Holmes wishes you all a happy holiday season and the hope that you avoid serious injury while battling your fellow shoppers. And if you don’t like these suggestions, I have more.
Don’t have a lot of time over the holidays to read a whole novel? Take a look at Ethan Holmes’ newly released novella, The Town of Perfect. It’s a town where everyone lives by the credo, “All give freely of what they have”. Is it possible?
Get your Christmas present early from Ethan Holmes. Help yourself to a free copy of Shorts and Other Laundry, a ‘best of’ collection of short stories. It’s downloadable here at Amazon or here at Smashwords for all other ereader/tablets.
Take a look at the latest novel from author Ethan Holmes. Water is available in ebook and paperback.
Ethan Holmes is the author of Live Your Life in a Crap Free Zone, Water, The Town of Perfect, Earth’s Blood, The Keystone, Shorts and Other Laundry and A Multi-Pack of Brain Flakes.
Follow me like a zombie.